anxiety.co.zaWhy Share Your Concerns About Addiction
When a loved one shows signs of illness, we instinctively offer our support. However, if the issue is related to substance use, many of us hesitate. Addiction, clinically known as “alcohol use disorder” or “substance use disorder,” is a serious condition that impacts physical, mental, and behavioral health. It can be life-threatening if left untreated, making it crucial to offer help.
Addiction can lead to behaviors that hurt loved ones, jeopardize careers, and cause self-harm. Although it may seem like the person chooses alcohol or drugs above all else, this is precisely when they need support the most.
What’s Holding You Back from Helping?
Feeling apprehensive about discussing a friend’s substance use is normal. These conversations are challenging but can be lifesaving. Here are common reasons you might hesitate and why it’s important to reach out anyway:
- “It’s none of my business how much my friend drinks or gets high.” If you witnessed someone having a heart attack, you wouldn’t hesitate to help. Similarly, addressing a friend’s substance use can save their life. Addiction is a leading cause of death and hospitalization.
- “I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship.” While you might fear damaging your relationship, people with addiction often secretly hope for intervention. Bringing up the issue shows you care and can strengthen your bond.
- “My friend drinks a lot, but at least there are no drugs.” Alcohol, although legal, is an addictive substance and poses significant health risks. Excessive drinking is a leading cause of death among working-age adults.
- “How do I make sure I say the right thing?” It’s difficult to address such a personal issue without causing defensiveness. Approach the conversation non-judgmentally and focus on specific behaviors and consequences of their substance use.
- “I’m sure my friend’s family would say something if it was serious.” Families might not recognize the problem, especially if the individual hides their use. Sometimes, heavy substance use is normalized within families, making outside intervention crucial.
How to Tell If Your Friend Has a Substance Abuse Problem
Addiction is confusing and not always about daily use or the amount consumed. Look for negative consequences related to substance use. Common signs include:
- Increased drinking or drug use
- Attempts to “cut down” or switch substances
- Preference for social settings where substances are available
- Personality changes when under the influence
- Driving under the influence or reacting angrily when asked for the car keys
- Physical symptoms like frequent colds, nosebleeds, or trips to the bathroom
- Memory blackouts or late-night calls they don’t remember
- Problems at work or frequent absences
- Relationship difficulties
- Financial issues, borrowing money, or accumulating debt
- Legal problems
When to Talk with Your Friend
Timing is crucial. Don’t approach them when they’re intoxicated. Instead, wait until they are clearheaded. Discuss the issue when negative consequences are fresh in their mind, or bring up a pattern of concerning behavior rather than an isolated incident.
How to Get the Conversation Started
Express your concern with care and honesty. Here are some approaches based on the relationship:
For a Close Friend or Loved One: “Barb, we’ve been close for a long time. Lately, I’ve noticed you drinking more and not getting along with your family. I’m worried about you. Can we talk about it?”
For a Casual Friend or Acquaintance: “Jim, I’ve always enjoyed playing cards with you. But after a few beers, I notice you become argumentative. It’s not like you. I don’t want you to lose your friends.”
For a Coworker or Colleague: “Chris, you’re one of the brightest people I know, but you’ve been missing work and coming in late. I know you’ve been drinking a lot. If you’re having trouble, I’d be happy to help you find assistance.”
What to Do If Your Friend Isn’t Ready for Help
If your friend isn’t ready to accept help, don’t be discouraged. Denial is a common symptom of addiction. Let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready and continue to show your support.
What to Do If Your Friend Is Ready for Help
Before meeting your friend, gather information about support groups and counseling options. Offer to provide a ride to a meeting or connect them with a support person.
How Might Your Friend’s Newly Sober Life Affect Your Relationship
In early recovery, your friend will focus on building a new routine and support network. While this might feel like losing a friend, many people resume and even strengthen friendships over time.
What to Do If Your Partner or Family Member Abuses Alcohol or Other Drugs
Taking care of yourself is essential. Living with someone with a substance use problem can be difficult and heartbreaking. Seek support from groups like Al-Anon and educate yourself on substance abuse and recovery.
Discussing a friend’s substance use problem can be challenging but is essential for their health and safety. Approach the conversation with care, honesty, and support. Whether or not they are ready for help, your concern can plant the seed for future recovery.
