anxiety.co.zaIf you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, your pain may seem overwhelming and permanent. However, there are ways to cope with these feelings and overcome the pain.
If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts
No matter how much pain you’re in right now, you’re not alone. Many people have had suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect and doesn’t mean you are crazy, weak, or flawed. It simply means that you have more pain than you can currently cope with. With time and support, you can overcome your problems, and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.
Remember:
- Your emotions are not fixed—they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be how you feel tomorrow.
- Your absence would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.
- You can still accomplish many things in your life.
- There are experiences in life that can bring you joy and that you would miss.
- Your ability to experience pleasure is equal to your ability to experience distress.
Why Do I Feel Suicidal?
Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to each person, and the ability to cope with it differs from person to person. Here are some common causes:
- Mental health conditions: Such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia.
- Life events: Such as trauma, loss of a loved one, or significant life changes.
- Chronic pain or illness: Ongoing physical pain or illness can contribute to suicidal thoughts.
Why Suicide Can Seem Like the Only Option
If you’re unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it’s not that other solutions don’t exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them. The intense emotional pain you’re experiencing can distort your thinking, making it harder to see possible solutions or to connect with those who can offer support. Therapists, counselors, friends, or loved ones can help you see solutions that may not be apparent to you.
A Suicidal Crisis is Almost Always Temporary
While it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness will never end, crises are usually temporary. Solutions can be found, feelings change, and unexpected positive events occur. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to change and the pain to subside.
Even Problems That Seem Hopeless Have Solutions
Mental health conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder are treatable with lifestyle changes, therapy, and medication. Most people who seek help can improve their situation and recover. It’s often necessary to try different approaches before finding the right solution or combination of solutions. Don’t give up before you’ve found what works for you.
Immediate Actions to Take
Step #1: Promise Not to Do Anything Right Now
Even though you’re in a lot of pain, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Promise yourself, “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality.
Step #2: Avoid Drugs and Alcohol
Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It’s important to avoid these substances when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.
Step #3: Make Your Home Safe
Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you’re unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe.
Step #4: Don’t Keep These Suicidal Feelings to Yourself
Many people have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone they trust. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. If the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else.
Step #5: Take Hope – People DO Get Through This
Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.
Reaching Out for Help
Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time. Reach out to someone. If you promised yourself 24 hours or a week, use that time to tell someone what’s going on with you. Talk to someone who won’t try to argue about how you feel, judge you, or tell you to just “snap out of it.” Find someone who will simply listen and be there for you.
How to Talk to Someone About Your Suicidal Thoughts
- Be direct: Tell the person exactly what you are telling yourself. If you have a suicide plan, explain it to them.
- Be specific: Phrases such as, ‘I can’t take it anymore’ or ‘I’m done’ are vague. Tell the person you trust that you are thinking about suicide.
- Write it down: If it is too difficult for you to talk about, try writing it down and handing a note to the person you trust.
How to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts
Things to Do
- Talk with someone every day: Preferably face to face. Ask trusted friends and acquaintances to spend time with you.
- Make a safety plan: Develop a set of steps that you can follow during a suicidal crisis.
- Stick to a daily schedule: Keep a regular routine as much as possible.
- Get out in the sun or into nature: Spend at least 30 minutes a day outdoors.
- Exercise: Aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. Start small if necessary.
- Engage in activities that bring you joy: Even if very few things bring you pleasure at the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.
Things to Avoid
- Being alone: Solitude can make suicidal thoughts worse. Visit a friend or family member.
- Alcohol and drugs: These substances can increase depression and impulsivity.
- Engaging in activities that make you feel worse: Avoid listening to sad music, looking at certain photographs, or visiting a loved one’s grave.
- Focusing on negative thoughts: Try not to become preoccupied with suicidal thoughts. Find a distraction.
Recovering from Suicidal Thoughts
Even if your suicidal thoughts have subsided, it’s important to seek ongoing help. Experiencing such emotional pain is itself a traumatizing experience. Finding a support group or therapist can be very helpful in decreasing the chances that you will feel suicidal again in the future.
- Identify triggers: Recognize situations that lead to feelings of despair or generate suicidal thoughts.
- Take care of yourself: Eat right, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly.
- Build your support network: Surround yourself with positive influences and people who make you feel good about yourself.
- Develop new activities and interests: Find new hobbies or volunteer activities that give you a sense of meaning and purpose.
- Learn to deal with stress: Find healthy ways to manage stress, including exercising, meditating, and practicing simple breathing exercises.
Remember, you don’t have to face this alone. Reach out for help and take steps to build a healthier, happier future.
